Amy
Distraction Was The Best Medicine
“Help!! What do I do now?”
Toddlers were so intimidating at times. It wasn’t everyone else’s toddlers that intimidated me, it was mine. Why was that so true?
They aren’t extraordinarily large as people go per se. They are rather small creatures to be honest. Yet, they can command and demand like no others. They can stand there in their defiant postures with their “Superman hands on their hips” pose radiating their fire-breathing dragon look that would instantly fry me to a crisp if it were possible.
I remember staring at them at times while being so upset and impatient with them. How did they get the best of me and cause me to give my temper away so easily, and more often than I want to admit here?
I love my children dearly and would do anything for them, but when they were in that toddler mode it seemed like it was “them or me”. Sometimes it was hard to know who was the adult in the room. I remember being reduced down to their level more than once. It was humiliating and I felt badly once all the fuss was over and I came back to my senses. How can they be so powerful in these moments. And what’s worse, was that I told myself I would never allow myself to get into that type of power struggle with them again, but I did, and more than once or twice. At times I felt like I was losing my mind.
You would think that by the time our fifth child had entered into her toddler years I would have had the wisdom-of-the-ages coupled with the experience of a battle hardened veteran making me impervious to attack. Don’t kid yourself. I still got pulled into it at times. Grrr.
However, there were those other times when I didn’t get sucked into their emotional vortex of death and actually did it right. All the raging seemed to have bounced off me like I was bulletproof and, I was in my right mind. Those were the moments of brilliance that I clung to. I wish I knew how I did it so I could have replicated it on command, but alas, I have no idea how I pulled it off.
Bedtime should be easy because it was so normal. It was routine. It was usual, and not unexpected. But this particular night was different. It was none of those things. Amy was in a mood. Not a pleasant mood, but a simmering dark mood. She was angry at the world and wasn’t about to keep it to herself. She was on a mission of chaos which did not include going to bed.
I don’t remember any of the pre-bedtime particulars. All I remember was that the three of us, Amber, Amy, and myself were all lying in amy’s bottom bunk together. It was time for a story and Amy wasn’t having any part of it. She was screaming and crying and wouldn’t stop for anything. Well, as it turns out, there was one thing.
I was on my back between them trying to get Amy to stop her fit. She had a masterpiece going at the moment. I listed all the usual storylines for potential ideas, and was met with defiant resistance. I looked over at Amber and she didn’t know what to do either. Suddenly inspiration hit and it changed everything.
“Amy,” I said calmly. “I would like to introduce you to my new friend. His name is Dumb Thumb,” and I held up my right thumb for her to see. “He has a friend with him. His name is Stinky Pinky,” and I poked my left pinky straight up in the air. Immediately the crying subsided and a broad grin with a chuckle spread across her face. I knew I was on to something now. I continued to make these two ridiculous characters act stupidly and now she was belly laughing. For the next ten minutes or so the story rolled absurdly along. Both girls were having a great time and it seemed the tantrum was a thing of the past.
Once the story was over and I had prayed for them all was well. I gave them each a good-night kiss and that was it. Disaster averted. I have no idea why that crazy story worked. Maybe it was because it was so crazy and unexpected. Whatever the reason, it worked. It actually worked several more times afterwards.
This goes down as one of those learning moments for Daddy. I could have pulled out the heavy guns of intimidation and threats, but this weapon was better. This was a diversion. I flanked the little fit-thrower and she didn’t see it coming at all. Admittedly, neither did Amber or I.
It was really never about who had the most power. It wasn’t about who was the most stubborn or determined. In this case I simply had a different prescription and found that diversion was the best medicine.
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Fun Stories for Children at Bedtime
I know I have mentioned it before in at least one previous post, that bedtime with the kids when they were little was my gig. I was the one to steer them through the pre-bedtime checklist. Jammies on, teeth brushed and flossed, drinks, fluoride rinse, potty, the story, kisses and hugs, and ended with the good night prayer.
Once Amber and Amy were grade school age a new tradition was born. We still continued with the standard pre-bedtime checklist, but the story time change dramatically. I began to make up a new story each night for them.
The setting for the story remained the same, and so did the main characters. Night after night I would take them on a new adventure with these cute bedtime friends.
“Daddy tell us a new story tonight”, they would plead.
“Okay, but you have to get ready before we start, so hurry”, was my usual reply. This of course sent them scurrying to get the checklist finished asap. I loved the leverage the story time had on their motivation. Admittedly, I took extreme advantage of it. For sure I used it as a bribe more times than I can remember.
After they had finished the checklist the three of us would plop down on their bed together and they would eagerly wait for me to start. Sometimes the wait was too much for them because I was too slow.
“Start the story Daddy! You’re taking too long,” they would moan.
“I’m trying girls, but I have to think of a new story and I haven’t thought about this at all today.”
“Hurry please. Start the story, we’re getting bored.”
Oh, the pressure.
Once I started they snuggled in closer to me and were all ears. I would take them to their favorite and familiar spots. They would find their best story buddies up to their necks in trouble, or in some adventure too big for them to handle. Sometimes it became unbearably dangerous and they thought something scary was going to happen.
“Maybe I should stop since you’re so worried?” I would ask.
“Nooooo! Don’t stop now,” was their big eyed answer each time.
Over the three years I told these stories they began to change, to morph into something different. Even though the main characters and setting stayed the same, I would introduce a mystery character. I would use vague descriptions about this mystery character throughout the story. Small clues that would reveal their identity. The girls had to pay close attention if they were to guess who it was once the story was finished. These mystery characters could be anyone. They could be a real person, a movie character, a book character, a cartoon character, a Bible character, a family member, a pet or animal, literally anyone.
The stories had become interactive now. After the story ended they could ask me all the questions they wanted to. Only questions with yes & no answers were allowed. Each of the girls was granted only one guess at the mystery character’s identity. If they both were wrong, I would win the game and tell them the answer. If one of them figured it out and named the character correctly, they won the game.
Sometimes they asked a gazillion questions and still never figured it out. Other times they asked one, two, maybe three questions tops and nailed it right off the bat. I remember times that I thought I had the perfect character that neither of them would ever figure out, only to have them guess correctly after one solitary question. How rude!
Other nights when I was especially tired I would pick the easiest character possible only to have them trip over it forever, or never figure it out at all. Maybe they knew my game and played me instead. They are very bright girls after all.
No matter who may have been working whom, these are moments I will never forget. They will always be a part of our bedtime memories together when they were little. It was just last year when Amy came up to me and asked me to tell her another story. She’s a high-schooler, and still wanted to hear another one.
I would love to tell you all about them, really I would, but I won’t. I’m writing them down for my grandkids, and maybe for others too if you will. After all, everyone can always use fun stories for children at bedtime.
Curls & Capes 